My Struggles and My Dreams

I feel so stuck. I am in a situation where I am not appreciated and I am being criticized constantly. As long as I am in this situation, I will never experience another moment of peace. I know that people say that they care and in their own way they do but I feel as if I have lost my basic respect and dignity in my current situation. I am starting to wonder whether they are dissatisfied with their own lives and situation or whether I am just making excuses for them because that's the kind of person that I am.
I feel that they are trying to get back at my dad by taking out all of their frustration and anger on me. Everybody just seems so volatile and I just cannot understand why they are like that. I have just about given up on trying to understand human behavior. It is just so messy and illogical.

I'm curious as to what right do people think they have criticizing me when their own flaws are so blatantly obvious.

It's just the way that people around me talk. It's driving me crazy because I am not used to it and I'm not sure if I want this to be the new norm. I am trying to figure out how to solve the root of the problem and not be in this situation anymore but things are shaping up to be the way that they are and I feel unsure as to how to escape this situation.

I hope that I won't be so sensitive and that I will learn from the mistakes that I have made and that I won't take things for granted like I have my whole life. I hope to be more proactive and to take more initiative in rectifying my situation. I don't want to be looked down upon and I pray that I may find the strength to endure my current situation and emotional struggles and to improve it.

I never thought that I would be in the situation that I am in but all I can do is continue taking it one day at a time- both the good and the bad.

Candid Struggles....

Its been a while since I last posted. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster trying to seek approval from others. I find comfort in being able to talk about this. It feels as I am getting the burden off of my chest. I have to remember that there are people to talk to and to help me get through all of this. I am always the one initiating everything. I should be more proactive about finding a job and about my future. I just feel overwhelmed by all of it. My coursework makes me feel inadequate. It is difficult to concentrate. Maybe its not for me. I have to show that I am capable of seeing something to the finish (like a degree or a project). More on it soon as it is getting late and I need to get ready for bed.